Community standards

Community
Guidelines.

Simple rules that make HMS a safe space for everyone. Read them once. They are why this community works.

The short version

HMS in five words: Speak. Listen. Protect. Heal. Respect.

Speak
Share your truth, however difficult, as your pseudonym or anonymously. Your story has value here.
Listen
Read others' stories with the intention of understanding, not judging. Empathy over advice.
Protect
Never attempt to identify anonymous users. What is shared here, stays here.
Heal
Prioritise your own wellbeing. Engage when you can; step back when you need to.
Respect
Every member deserves dignity. No exceptions, no hierarchy of pain.
Core principles What is encouraged What is prohibited Moderation Professionals Self-harm policy Reporting Consequences Acknowledgement

Core principles

HearMeSafe is built on a single foundational belief: every human being deserves a safe space to speak their truth without fear of judgement, exposure, or harm. These guidelines exist to protect that space for everyone who enters it.

These guidelines apply equally to all members, moderators, professionals, and staff. No one is exempt. Verified status does not grant immunity from the standards expected of all community members.

The intent test

When in doubt, ask yourself: "Is what I am about to post/comment/message intended to help, connect, or be honest — or does it have the potential to harm, shame, or expose another person?" If the latter, please do not post it.

What is encouraged

  • Authentic sharing: Share your genuine experience, including the parts that feel shameful or difficult to say. This is what the community is for.
  • Empathetic responses: Respond to others' posts by sharing your own experience, acknowledging theirs, or simply witnessing — not by giving unsolicited advice or fixing.
  • Asking questions with care: Curious questions that come from a place of genuine interest in another's experience are welcome. Interrogative or sceptical questions are not.
  • Using triggers warnings: When sharing content that may be difficult for others (descriptions of loss, trauma, addiction), begin with a brief content note. Example: "CW: grief, loss of a child."
  • Supporting each other to seek help: Gently encouraging members who appear to be struggling to consider professional support — without being prescriptive about what they should do.
  • Welcoming new members: A first post is an act of courage. Welcoming newcomers warmly costs nothing and matters enormously.
  • Celebrating milestones: Whether it is Day 1 sober, a first therapy appointment, or the first time someone said the difficult thing out loud — acknowledge and celebrate small victories.

What is prohibited

Violations of these rules result in immediate, permanent ban without warning.

There is no graduated response for the most serious violations.

Zero tolerance (immediate permanent ban)

  • Any attempt to identify, expose, or "dox" an anonymous user
  • Sharing child sexual abuse material or any sexual content involving minors
  • Threatening physical harm to any person
  • Impersonating a mental health professional without verified status
  • Soliciting money, cryptocurrency, or financial instruments from members
  • Coordinated harassment targeting a specific member

Prohibited conduct (reviewed on a case-by-case basis)

  • Harassment, bullying, or intimidation of any member
  • Discrimination based on race, ethnicity, religion, gender, sexual orientation, disability, or nationality
  • Posting commercial content, advertisements, or spam of any kind
  • Sharing misinformation presented as medical or clinical fact
  • Impersonating another member or public figure
  • Repeatedly posting the same content across multiple channels
  • Sharing content designed to encourage or facilitate self-harm
  • Posting explicit sexual content
  • Making legal threats against other members

How moderation works

HMS HearMeSafe uses human moderators — not algorithms alone — to review reported content. Every report is read by a real person and assessed against these guidelines.

Moderation decisions consider context. A post describing suicidal ideation in the past tense, as part of a recovery narrative, is treated very differently from a post expressing current suicidal intent. We are not here to police difficult content — we are here to protect people.

Moderators will not contact other members to tell them a specific post was reported or by whom. Reports are completely confidential.

Our moderation team can be reached directly at safety@hearmesafe.com for complex situations.

Standards for professionals

Verified professionals on HearMeSafe are held to a higher standard. In addition to all member guidelines, professionals must:

  • Never represent themselves as providing clinical services through community posts
  • Clearly identify any response as professional opinion rather than clinical advice
  • Never initiate contact with vulnerable members for commercial purposes
  • Maintain the confidentiality of all private consultations
  • Adhere to the ethics code of their licensing body at all times
  • Report any safeguarding concerns to the HMS moderation team immediately

Verified status is revoked without notice for breaches of professional standards. Credential re-verification may be required annually.

Self-harm & suicide policy

We take a harm-reduction, not censorship, approach.

Discussion of self-harm and suicidal thoughts is not prohibited. Suppressing these conversations causes more harm than allowing them. We do intervene when immediate safety is at risk.

Posts that express current suicidal intent with specific detail, method, or plan are reviewed by our moderation team immediately. We respond by providing crisis resources and, when risk appears imminent, following our escalation protocol.

We follow evidence-based safe messaging guidelines. Posts are not removed solely for discussing self-harm, suicide, or suicide ideation in a past or reflective context — these conversations are often the most valuable the community has.

If you are concerned about another member's safety, use the report button and select "I'm worried about someone's safety." This triggers priority review.

How to report

The report button appears on every post, comment, and private message. You do not need to explain yourself at length — selecting the report category is sufficient. All reports are treated as serious and reviewed by a human.

  • I'm worried about someone's safety — immediate priority review
  • Harassment or bullying — reviewed within 4 hours
  • Spam or commercial content — reviewed within 24 hours
  • Misinformation — reviewed within 24 hours
  • Other guideline violation — reviewed within 48 hours

You can also email safety@hearmesafe.com directly for complex situations or if you prefer not to use the in-platform report feature.

Consequences

Consequences range from content removal to permanent ban, depending on the nature, severity, and frequency of the violation. The standard process for non-zero-tolerance violations is:

  • First violation: Content removed, private notice issued with explanation
  • Second violation: Content removed, 7-day posting suspension
  • Third violation: Content removed, 30-day suspension with review
  • Ongoing or severe violations: Permanent ban, email blocked

Appeals can be submitted to appeals@hearmesafe.com within 14 days of any moderation decision. Appeals are reviewed by a senior moderator not involved in the original decision.

Acknowledgement

By creating an account on HearMeSafe, you confirm that you have read and agree to these Community Guidelines. These guidelines are incorporated into the Terms of Use by reference.

These guidelines are reviewed and updated regularly. Material changes will be communicated to all members. The current version is always available at this URL. Last updated: January 2025.